“Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe it really is all in my head.” If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation more confused than when you started—doubting your memory, your feelings, or even your sanity—there’s a chance you’ve experienced gaslighting. Gaslighting isn’t just a trendy word on social media. Major health and university sources describe it as a specific form of emotional and psychological abuse in which someone makes you question your perception of reality so that they can gain power and control. For many people, this kind of emotional abuse is deeply connected to anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance use—which is exactly where Crosspointe Recovery’s dual-diagnosis treatment can help.
What Is Gaslighting?
Several respected sources define gaslighting in very similar ways:
- The U.S. Office on Women’s Health explains gaslighting as a form of emotional abuse where an abuser denies events, calls you “crazy” or overly sensitive, and describes situations very differently from how you remember them, making you feel like you’re “losing your mind or memory.” Office on Women’s Health
- The University of Rochester Medical Center describes gaslighting as emotional abuse that happens when a partner denies events or reframes them so drastically that you start to distrust your own memory and become more dependent on them.
- The Gaslighting Project at the University of Michigan calls gaslighting a kind of psychological manipulation aimed at making you seem or feel “crazy,” as if you can’t accurately understand what’s happening to you—in romantic relationships, family, work, school, and other settings. UMich LSA Sites
- The University of Florida’s SMART Couples program notes that gaslighting happens when abusers repeatedly lie to, mislead, and confuse their partners about events that clearly occurred, as a way of gaining power and control. SMART Couples
Put simply: Gaslighting is a pattern of emotional manipulation that makes you doubt your own reality—your memories, your feelings, and your judgment—so someone else can stay in control.
Where Did the Term “Gaslighting” Come From?
The term comes from the 1938 play and 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband slowly dims the gas lights in the house but insists nothing has changed when his wife notices. Over time, she begins to question her senses and her sanity.
Today, the word describes a real-world pattern of behavior that can appear in:
- Romantic and intimate relationships
- Parent–child and family dynamics
- Friendships and social groups
- Workplace and academic relationships
- Even interactions with doctors or authority figures
What Gaslighting Can Look Like in Everyday Life
Gaslighting is usually ongoing, not a one-time disagreement or a simple memory mix-up. Some common tactics include:
1. Denying or Rewriting Events
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re remembering it wrong.”
- “You twist everything I say.”
2. Attacking Your Perception or Sanity
- “You’re crazy / dramatic / paranoid.”
- “You’re too sensitive; no one else has a problem with this.”
- “You need help—your memory is terrible.”
3. Minimizing Your Feelings
- “It wasn’t that bad, you’re overreacting.”
- “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
4. Blaming You for Their Behavior
- “If you didn’t act this way, I wouldn’t lose my temper.”
- “You made me do it—you know this sets me off.”
Over time, these patterns can make you think:
- Maybe I really am too sensitive.
- Maybe I can’t trust my memory.
- Maybe I am the problem.
That erosion of self-trust is what makes gaslighting so damaging.
How Gaslighting Impacts Mental Health (and Addiction)
Because gaslighting targets your sense of reality, it can have serious emotional effects:
- Increased anxiety and constant second-guessing
- Depression and low self-worth (“I’m always the problem”)
- Confusion, “mental fog,” and difficulty making decisions
- Isolation from friends & family (“No one else understands you like I do”)
- Dependence on the gaslighter to explain what “really” happened
Many people in this kind of environment start using alcohol or drugs to:
- Numb emotional pain and shame
- Calm overwhelming anxiety or panic
- Escape a chaotic or hostile home situation
That’s why gaslighting frequently shows up in the background of substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health issues—and why a treatment center like Crosspointe Recovery pays attention to it.
Is It Gaslighting or Just Normal Conflict?
Not every disagreement is gaslighting.
Normal conflict usually includes:
- Two people who can say, “We remember that differently—let’s talk it through.”
- Willingness to apologize, take responsibility, and repair harm
- No ongoing pattern of control, fear, or intimidation
Gaslighting, on the other hand, often involves:
- A repeated pattern of denial, blame, and distortion
- A power imbalance (one person is consistently in control)
- Emotional fallout: confusion, shame, fear, and growing self-doubt over time
If you regularly walk away from interactions feeling smaller, “crazy,” or terrified of bringing things up, it’s worth exploring whether gaslighting or other emotional abuse is happening.
What To Do If You Think You’re Being Gaslit
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Some first steps people find helpful:
- Name it.
Even privately telling yourself, “This might be gaslighting, not the truth about me,” can be grounding. - Reality-check with safe people.
Share specific situations with a trusted friend, support group, or therapist. Often, just hearing “No, that’s not normal—you’re not crazy” is a huge relief. - Write things down (if it’s safe).
Journaling what happened right after difficult conversations can help you see patterns and reassure yourself that you’re not imagining things. - Prioritize your safety.
If there are threats, stalking, or physical violence, it may be part of a broader pattern of domestic abuse. In emergencies, call 911. In the U.S., you can also reach out to national or local domestic violence resources for confidential support and safety planning (many are listed through womenshealth.gov and state agencies). - Consider professional help—especially if substance use is involved.
A trauma-informed, dual-diagnosis treatment program can help you address both the emotional abuse and any co-occurring addiction or mental health symptoms.
This is exactly where Crosspointe Recovery comes in.
How Crosspointe Recovery Helps People Affected by Gaslighting
Crosspointe Recovery is a top-rated private residential rehab and outpatient treatment center in the Sherman Oaks / Los Angeles area, specializing in addiction and co-occurring mental health conditions.
If gaslighting and emotional abuse are part of your story, here’s how we can support you.
1. We Treat the Whole Picture: Addiction and Emotional Abuse
At Crosspointe, we don’t just look at substances. Our mental health and addiction treatment programs are designed to explore:
- Relationship patterns, including emotional abuse and gaslighting
- Symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma
- How these experiences connect to alcohol or drug use
Our team builds personalized treatment plans that address both substance use and the impact of long-term manipulation and abuse. Crosspointe Recovery
2. Trauma-Informed Therapy to Rebuild Your Sense of Reality
Through individual and group therapy, we help you:
- Name gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse
- Understand how these experiences shaped your beliefs about yourself
- Rebuild trust in your own memory, feelings, and judgment
- Learn coping skills so you don’t need substances to get through each day
We use evidence-based approaches (like CBT and DBT skills) within a trauma-informed framework, so you’re supported—not blamed—while examining painful experiences.
Experiential approaches, including art therapy in addiction recovery, offer a non-verbal way to process emotions that may be hard to express after long-term gaslighting.
3. Flexible Levels of Care: From Residential to IOP & Outpatient
Because emotional abuse often overlaps with daily responsibilities, not everyone can step away from life entirely. Crosspointe offers a continuum of care so you can get the right level of support:
- Residential rehab – 24/7 structured care in a live-in setting, ideal if you need space away from a toxic or unsafe environment to stabilize and start healing.
- Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) – Multi-hour therapy on a predictable weekly schedule, without an overnight stay, so you can work on trauma, boundaries, and sobriety while maintaining work, school, or family commitments.
- Outpatient treatment programs – Ongoing therapy, counseling, and support with more flexibility as you grow stronger in your recovery and start applying new skills in real life.
Learn more:
4. Learning Boundaries and Healthier Relationships
Gaslighting trains you to ignore red flags and override your own needs. In treatment, we help you:
- Tell the difference between healthy conflict and emotional abuse
- Identify your personal limits and practice saying “no”
- Build communication skills and self-advocacy
- Explore family dynamics and, when appropriate, involve loved ones in therapy so they can support your healing without repeating harmful patterns
These tools are essential not only for staying sober but also for building safer, more supportive relationships long-term.
You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’ve Been Through a Lot.
Gaslighting tries to convince you that you are the problem. Treatment at Crosspointe Recovery is based on a different message:
You are not broken, weak, or “crazy.”
You’re a person who has been under intense emotional pressure—and you deserve real support.
With comprehensive, dual-diagnosis care, trauma-informed therapy, and a compassionate team, Crosspointe can help you:
- Stabilize your mental and physical health
- Understand how gaslighting and other trauma influenced your substance use
- Learn healthier coping skills and boundaries
- Build a life where your reality, safety, and well-being actually matter
pointe Recovery for a confidential conversation about your situation and treatment options. You’re not imagining it. What happened to you matters—and healing is possible.
